Van's PPF (continued)

Sometimes I wonder if my writing motivation is conceit. Perhaps. I mean, I did start the DS project because "hey I can do better than 90% of people on here" and "dude I'll show them how an Escaflowne fanfic can be written as real fiction". I don't know which is more disconcerting--the fact that DS is based on these egotistical thoughts or that I'm revealing it in this post. (My only comfort is my scarce but treasured blog readers, who will most definitely forgive me.)

Writing is an oxymoron that allows the writer to take an identity and also reveal himself. Perhaps there is no escape from my self.


Well, let's jump back before I wander off to the next philosophical discussion: Yesterday we were on the subject of "Van's PPF" (past present future), and I've also hastily put in my deadline for ch6, lest I escape again. (My other confession today? My last written work on DS was in April ; ;) With 3 weeks left and a whole ch ahead, let us rush headlong into it, then.

I had previously considered the possibility of cutting Van's dialogue with Basram's diplomat, on the pretense of sparing the readers the political boredom (and me a public hazing), but now I see it would be necessary to not only keep the section, but to excel at its execution.

Esca ff authors and readers alike assume that Hitomi's decision to stay is the keystone to an Esca continuation. But to me, Van is the main character in Escaflowne, and it is Van again who must be the essence of the story. We cannot jump from Van 10 years ago to Van's actions in the rest of DS, without first seeing how Van is a king in Fanelia.

We've already missed Van as king in ep2--after his coronation he is immediately downgraded into nothing more than a refugee with a royal title. All through the series we see little of Van the king. But it is precisely his lineage and rule that define who he is and what kind of person Hitomi must become in order to match Van.

The tricky thing is execution of the idea, of course. Will I have enough skill to portray Van as who he is now and what he will become?

At least, the goal for ch6 is clear. The best time to start is always tomorrow ;3a


I can't remember if I've posted this, so you get the pleasure of getting it again:


Edit: From my previous blog posts it looks like I've written in July, but both the DS working file and my backup are from April. WHERE IS MY FILE.

Van's PPF

In a previous post, I've mentioned I'd like to resolve the juxtaposition of Van's gravity and boyishness. But a deeper portrayal and my challenge in ch6 is Van's PPF--how he has changed these 10 years and how he will be at the end of DS. And I think in order to do this, V's meeting with Basram's diplomat will be a definite landmark.

...
There is supposed to be a meaning to this post. I apologize. It's late, and my brain is like mush and I must fall into bed. Will try again tomorrow.

Oh, before I duck out of this: I will publish ch6 before Christmas.

Back Again

The other day a ff email told me I got another reader on the story alert list. It made me happy--and a little guilty--I had no idea people are still reading Deeper than the Sky. (Curiously, ch5 has 40 more hits than ch4. Are the readers skipping ahead to the most recent ch, hoping for more closure, or do they reread ch5 again for Van?)

Perhaps there is no need to write an apology--only ch6 will compensate my year absence.

Hello again. m(_ _)m


Ch6 still remains elusive. My original plan was to have Van's meeting with Basram for its first half, and Van+Hitomi's meeting second. But I'm having such trouble with the political meeting, its dialogue and its innuendos, what Van should be as a ruler now and his maturity later, how much of Basram and its complications I should present. Would it be so bad to cut it out, and filter the meeting through Hitomi's experience? Or would this instead be even more confusing because it would be a second-hand of a second-hand?

Most likely, the only way to find out is to write it.


A drawing from a long time ago:

Notebook 2

Today marks the end of my second notebook (10/2006-07/2007). It's scary that almost none of it is entered in my Google notebook, but it's good that I've filled it with a lot of self-dialogue and ideas for DS.

One of the ideas today was to make Hitomi's transport from Earth to Gaea at the end of ch1 more significant in the overall plot. Gem had requested me to make Hitomi go through a depression, and while I think of Hitomi as too splunky to get real depression, a great spin-off possibility is to have her go through self-doubt in the midst of great expectations. Hitomi is the type to emerge stronger emotionally from adversity, and this experience would become her pivotal point in DS.

I was reminded of Nase in Hikaru no Go, at the end of the go pro examinations, when she said "Because I can play like today, I can't quit go." (That's sort of how I feel about my life now, too :P)


I cannot remember where I got this image. Probably from Lizzard. It's interesting to see the other Knights of Caeli:

Names

Random names, might be used for characters, might be used for locations:

Besnik - Sulare - Taussler - Stenin - Heriz - Jonam - Vosnik - Osarnum - Zare - Elat - Guerdia - Zossler - Tare - Kulot - Phi - Palome - Olam - Emon - Krisnet - Mossi - Basile - Digge - Malek - Nolan - Torron - Nauntig - Ala'Ramutad - Nafarem - Hamorfa - Guern - Vort - Epautib - Kalev - Vonui

1. Some are pretty crappy, I know. I don't want to use any normal names, because it's Gaea.

2. Would using names like Ala'Ramutad for a distant country be too politically incorrect?

3. I think of the names in Japanese pronounciation (eg. Balgus = Barugesu), so names like Zare is two syllables instead of one. But then the pretension that carries with a phonetic explanation at the end of a ch is probably more serious than reading it wrong.

4. Votes for names? Other ideas?

Van's Allure 2

For some reason (I am a strange cookie in many other ways, too), I don't prefer to work on the entirety of my story alone, then surprise everybody. I like to muse on something for a while, bounce ideas off a buddy, come back and do more revisions, then post. Adding a perspective has only worked out in my experience for the better.

Chocolatelova's been busy and it seems bad to bother her with my story when she doesn't have time to do her own, but perhaps I'll try catching her online D: My principal conflict is still ill-formed and so blah. blah blah blah.


Well, on to the non-whiny part of the post.

As I have mentioned before, Van's greatest attraction is the juxtaposition of his seriousness and his boyish self. To me, the boyish self is actually his natural self--selfish and a little spoiled, but with eagerness and full emotions--the self that comes out in front of Folken when they were young, in front of his mother, in front of Balgus, in front of Hitomi. The seriousness is his attempt to be a man, to be a king.

At the end of Esca, we are frustrated not only because V+H never really gets together, but also because we are left with a glimpse of an emerging Van, close on a path to balance between his two halves.

(I always thought of Van as the main character, actually.)

So one of the items I am exploring for DS is completion of this duality. A lot of fanfics on ff portray Van despising his burdensome responsibilities, but I don't think Van ever thought about it as a choice. He was born to be a king. His public and private lives are so enmeshed in him that they have instead become two intertwining parts of his personality. Duty is his life. But he is also just a man.

(I hope I will be able to do it. I really like writing Van.)

(Sometimes I feel like I write better essays than prose ; ; I write very pretentiously, I suppose.)


I forgot from where I grabbed this . It looks like a scan or a rough filter, but still a perfect Van.

Sources

Hello, hello!

My thoughts today jumped from the emerging central political conflict to the Tyrrhenia legacy. It had been in my mind for quite a while, bubbling and fermenting, but today's development was glorious.

We shall have our own version of Elysian Fields: "down the dank moldering paths and past the Ocean's streams they went, and past the White Rock and the Sun's Western Gates, and past the Land of Dreams, and soon they reached the fields where pale liliaceous asphodel and poplars grew." It will be a place to press into climax; a place for rest, cleansing, and comtemplation; and a place for graceful lamentation.

I am in debt to past books. LOTR, Chinese martial arts novels, the classics, Jane Austen--these all form the knowledge I draw from. No idea is ever original. Everything is simply an arrangement of a story we all already know.


Oh, I did write something this past week, so let's have it. I think I might have posted the previous version of this section, in Leal's POV. Van's is working out much better, and today you get a whole paragraph!

Leal had insisted that a wise king used the illusion of power as well as the practice of authority, though to Van's mind there was no real need. Even in the most remote countryside, his people have no trouble recognizing the crest on his sword and his mailed, trailing entourage. Leal and the rest overlook the importance inherent in the common shirt. His rule over Fanelia only benefited from his royal informalities: loyalty that could never be commanded by a "Sire" or even a "King Fanel", only only by a "Van-sama".

And now that I've written--my previous fears are unfounded, thank god. Nothing is ever so important in life as to keep going forward.


The asphodel:

Progress Update 16

I'm further into planning. Still building up the central conflict (it would be boring pretty quickly if it was just a V+H love story). The characters are expanding nicely, especially the supporting roles to bring the conflict into the forefront. It's so frustrating not to slip by any particulars here, since it's so exciting and complicated at the same time, and I wish somebody would hold my hand. Adhering to the pretense of literary fiction is pretty hard--though looking back through my notes history, the results are worth every furious head scratch in cluelessness.

I'm also in the beginnings of delineating countries with their culture, fashion, key players, agendas, etc in anticipation of the upcoming Palas meeting. My lack of dialogue in DS is really because I suck at it. Hopefully with preparation, I will be able to create real drama.

And with all these steps, another side of me feels like there's never an end to planning, so I should just go ahead and try out the next chs. 7 months of planning have already gone by with no prose. Perhaps I'm delaying the act of writing because I'm again afraid of not being as good as before, again afraid of disappointment, again afraid of writing.

Or maybe this doubt is just a game I play with myself. There's no reason to lose sight of my original goal--to make fanfiction into literary fiction. Readers pick DS out of many, many other stories they could have curled up with for the night, and I must remember not to flag. I have to remember my goals and the readers, and still settle for prose, characterization, story, meaning, and sense of completion above the rest.

Very Own Van

On a side note:
Now you can have your very own Van.

Hero

A big conflict for me is simplicity vs. details. There are, of course, elegant solutions to satisfy both--so perhaps I should try harder, but my brain capability is often limited, as my brother would readily tell you.

It's obvious (the simplicity conflict, not my IQ) from ff reader comments on DS. I would leave little details, but from readers' confusion, I am making too many assumptions. But then, it's so patronizing to spell out everything. I could blame the readers--but I am the author, the one who designed the plot and the particular way of words, so everything is really my own fault.

As I plan more and more of DS's plot (which should have been done a year ago when I first wrote ch1), the conflict between simplicity and details becomes clearer. I want to make the story conclusion satisfying. This would be most readily achieved with a Traditional Hero. In a way, in Esca the characters most impacted by the events were Van and Folken. Hitomi's journey wasn't nearly as complete as theirs, with their conflicts, falling away, dilemmas, eagerness, and redemption. Traditional Heroes provide a clear moral compass, completion of story, and emotional identification by readers.

But the way to use them require planning and skill. It could easily become a device and a resentment. Not using them, on the other hand, could also easily make DS into the Modern Literary Work with No Heros, Just a Lot of Suffering and Is Hella Boring category.

sigh.

Most likely I will go the Hero route with modifications. Elegant solutions, where are you?