Progress Update 16

I'm further into planning. Still building up the central conflict (it would be boring pretty quickly if it was just a V+H love story). The characters are expanding nicely, especially the supporting roles to bring the conflict into the forefront. It's so frustrating not to slip by any particulars here, since it's so exciting and complicated at the same time, and I wish somebody would hold my hand. Adhering to the pretense of literary fiction is pretty hard--though looking back through my notes history, the results are worth every furious head scratch in cluelessness.

I'm also in the beginnings of delineating countries with their culture, fashion, key players, agendas, etc in anticipation of the upcoming Palas meeting. My lack of dialogue in DS is really because I suck at it. Hopefully with preparation, I will be able to create real drama.

And with all these steps, another side of me feels like there's never an end to planning, so I should just go ahead and try out the next chs. 7 months of planning have already gone by with no prose. Perhaps I'm delaying the act of writing because I'm again afraid of not being as good as before, again afraid of disappointment, again afraid of writing.

Or maybe this doubt is just a game I play with myself. There's no reason to lose sight of my original goal--to make fanfiction into literary fiction. Readers pick DS out of many, many other stories they could have curled up with for the night, and I must remember not to flag. I have to remember my goals and the readers, and still settle for prose, characterization, story, meaning, and sense of completion above the rest.

Very Own Van

On a side note:
Now you can have your very own Van.

Hero

A big conflict for me is simplicity vs. details. There are, of course, elegant solutions to satisfy both--so perhaps I should try harder, but my brain capability is often limited, as my brother would readily tell you.

It's obvious (the simplicity conflict, not my IQ) from ff reader comments on DS. I would leave little details, but from readers' confusion, I am making too many assumptions. But then, it's so patronizing to spell out everything. I could blame the readers--but I am the author, the one who designed the plot and the particular way of words, so everything is really my own fault.

As I plan more and more of DS's plot (which should have been done a year ago when I first wrote ch1), the conflict between simplicity and details becomes clearer. I want to make the story conclusion satisfying. This would be most readily achieved with a Traditional Hero. In a way, in Esca the characters most impacted by the events were Van and Folken. Hitomi's journey wasn't nearly as complete as theirs, with their conflicts, falling away, dilemmas, eagerness, and redemption. Traditional Heroes provide a clear moral compass, completion of story, and emotional identification by readers.

But the way to use them require planning and skill. It could easily become a device and a resentment. Not using them, on the other hand, could also easily make DS into the Modern Literary Work with No Heros, Just a Lot of Suffering and Is Hella Boring category.

sigh.

Most likely I will go the Hero route with modifications. Elegant solutions, where are you?