My partial conversation with Chocolatelova about the ending of the series:
I think the argument for Hitomi to leave was that she didn't have to stay with Van to continue being in love. Their love would transcend time and space, and wouldn't depend on close approximation or even continued affirmation. This would only hold true, in my opinion, if there are circumstances they couldn't control that keeps them apart, such as their different fates on different planets, or maybe political marriages, etc. But this kind of love, to wish each other happiness while they give up any effort, is very sad, and not at all fun to read about. It's like the original story of Little Mermaid—the mermaid gave up her life for love, but the prince doesn't even know about it.
It prompted me to think more about what my story should answer:
"This love they have for each other...this emotion for theirs...does it surpass even that fate of war borne by man? But can this single moment last forever? This moment created by two easily swayed human hearts?" (ep 26.)
In my story, the political tensions, ambition, goals for dominance, and struggles for power eventually build momentum into war. Instead of love overcoming fate, it ends by acceptance, by generosity, by empathy. The ending is more diplomatic, more modern, more vague. Instead of defeating war with love, instead of being an example of peace, I want Hitomi and Van to accept war, to accept it as life, to create connections with others.
Except, I can't really think of anything except to bring out bigger guns. At least, that seems to work for the US... Maybe, I should take the Ghandi approach? No fasting, though. I love food too much to even subject my characters the pain.
Let's sidetrack into some random thoughts and take a break from serious conversation.
- Why did Hitomi always wear her uniform? Okay, so Van's coronation was a formal occasion. But afterwards, when she had the choice between the skirt and her track pants, I would have picked the pants. Besides, track jacket + running shorts would have been a cuter combination. It's like the boyfriend shirt + boxer shorts thing. Oh ho ho ho! I have a great idea.
- I should make a list of what Hitomi carried in her purse, much like the listing of items in her gym bag. A small purse, and definately lipstick.
- the usual: wallet, keys, pen, cell phone, receipt from the cakeshop
- sunglasses, earrings returned by Yukari, cherry lipstick
- things she unfortunately cannot carry: CDs (they fly to Gaea by themselves)
- She carried underwear with her last time + this time she only has a small purse = Hitomi enters the age before the invention of elastic waistbands.
Writing comments from Chocolatelova:
1. rewrite sections from scratch
2. strange scenes --> kick to another section, look from another perspective (different character?), needs different elements
3. don't make it too complicated
Angelic's post made me think about why I love Escaflowne so much.
When I first watched Escaflowne, I watched it on this little tv in my dorm, wearing a set of crappy headphones so I wouldn't disturb my roommates, because I watched it the whole way through in one session... At the end of this 13 hour marathon, I was sad and angry--sad because Hitomi had to leave, and angry because Hitomi had to leave.
Since then, I've probably watched it five or six more times. Now, at the end, I understand why the anime creators had to make Hitomi leave, but it still doesn't make it easier for me. I understand that Hitomi has finished her part on Gaea, and needs to return to Japan to move on with her own life. She's fifteen, hardly the age to decide the direction of her future. I understand, but I'm sad and angry, because the ending makes the outcome of their relationship so vague. Even though they helped each other through all these experiences, there's nothing to prevent me from being afraid that the love between Hitomi and Van would become the one that Leon and Hitomi's grandmother shared.
And this uncertainty, through expectations from my training from Hollywood and fairy tales, is frightening. Although, why should it be? In all the examples of love in the series, Leon and Encia, Leon and Hitomi's grandma, Goau and Varie, they are all enduring and romantic. Why should I prefer one to the others?
Hard question to answer.
Easier to answer: If the series wanted to end with the certainty of love and the uncertainty of love outcomes (Van+Hitomi, Dryden+Millerna, Allen+?), would it be horrible of me to close the uncertainty?
The answer, I feel, is no. It's the basis of fanfiction.
These sites have been really helpful throughout the process:
Escaflowne Compendium
Comprehensive information on the series.
Especially useful: country, guymelef, character, episode notes
Lizzard.net
Complete information on the Girl in Gaea movie. Hosts transcript of Jeture drama.
Especially useful: map of Gaea
Yoko Kanno Project
Complete list of series and movie music. Music clips.
Especially useful: lyrics translations
Onelook.com
Dictionary, similar words, reverse dictionary feature.
Talked to Sapphirefly yesterday:
1. Title change to "Tracing the Way to You"?
2. Storyboard needs more detail
3. Stronger character development
4. Offer readers something different
5. More angst in dialogue for realism
Recently I've been tracking down several victims. I'm a ruthless serial hunter.
I make them read my horrible, unfinished chapters and give me comments.
Cheers for all their love!
Unless I think of a better title, my project will be "Escaflowne: Ever After". I thought it would be an accurate description of my goal to give Escaflowne a fairy tale ending, a continuation into happily ever after.
I've been trying to understand the song, "Into the Light", which plays in the background when Hitomi returned to earth in episode 24. I want to use it in one of my chapters, but I haven't yet decided where it would go.
If I let go of your hand clasped in mine
Everything would probably come to an end now
What I wanted to know, even what hurt me
Was left unfinished
I should wish for you to find happiness
I can't, I'm too immature; though I try to wipe them away, the tears keep rolling down
Good-bye
I love you more than anyone else
Even more deeply than the sky
Don't cry
We'll meet again, okay?
But only I know we can't meet again
Someday you, too, will understand the true meaning
Of this fate we choose
The precious memories we made
Will live forever deep in my heart
I thought it was a tough decision, using the word hope
In an almost painful embrace, I'm looking up at you
Thank you
I love you more than anyone else
Even stronger than dreams
Hold on to me, don't let go
But don't utter even a single word
Don't cry, I love you
Even if we're separated far from each other
I can still live with you
I've been tempted to post my story on fanfiction.net for the past week.
I should probably not even think about this, because I don't even have a title for the story yet. And there's other questions: What is a decent update time? What if I decided that the original storyline no longer works? Is it ok to edit previous chapters? What if I get stuck?
Of course, these are all born from self-doubt and procrastination. There's a part of me that wants to just go for it, because this way, I will force myself to deliver an effort for the sake of the readers. I will force myself to write.
From Sapphirefly's suggestion, I have my story outlines completed, more or less. I won't be able to post as often as she does; my writing is so tedious and uninspired. I like to tweak words, because I discover how bad my writing is everytime I read the sections again. This is the other part of me that wants to publish when I'm completely done. And of course, I will most likely never be satisfied with my writing.
Perhaps the best way is just to publish and bear it. Quickest route to growth.
Now, about that title...
http://www.google.com/notebook/
I had a little spiral-bound notebook that became a monster to remember which page had Fanelian castle descriptions and which page had notes on nuclear bomb explosions. I then toyed with NetNote and outlines on Word, thought about setting up a Wiki server (then decided it was too difficult to even visualize), and got introduced to this gem.
The only downside is my crappy laptop's memory. If I am editing it extensively, it runs slow. But I'm getting a new motherboard and other happy items for my desktop by the end of the month; the problem will cease soon.
I love how it's a plug-in from the browser, so I can access it while I get a lightbulb-moment at work. As long as I don't leave the steamy kiss scenes open on the top window, no one will ever know ^^
Sometimes I prefer editing over creating new content. There's something methodical about the process--touching the plot outline and feeling into the meaning of each word--that it feels like I'm a master crafter, pushing the prose into higher levels, trying to attain "the beautiful."
Usually, it's just a lot better.
Recent editing process:
1. Look into the word
Slightly different definitions, secondary meanings, feelings it conjurs, sounds it makes.
2. Sentence structure
Phrasing spices prose. Pacing.
3. Dialogue flow
Still sucky at this.
4. Plot
Learned about this a lot lately. Considerations for reader understanding, excitement to move plot forward, narratives, adherence to characterizations.
An archive needs candid logs, so on to the details:
Project Name:
Vision of Escaflowne continuation fanfiction
Setting:
"Van had his duties; Hitomi had her life. She had decided against fortune-telling; he had vowed for his country. Ten years later, they must discern destiny from illusion, for Gaea and their future."
Challenges:
Personal:
1. I haven't tried something of this scope before. As my notes are now, it's going to be 24 chapters. This experience in writing is going to be exciting and scary.
2. I suck at maintaining momentum. The project will take months and will be a major investment I've rarely made outside of school and work.
Story:
1. In addition to a completely coherent and believable plot, the continuation would have to measure up to the series' excitement, character developments, and complex storyline. Character personalities, country cultures, and other details must be followed. It'll need research, notes, and lots of analysis into character motivations.
2. The most important question: What would the story answer?
Friendships are strange and wonderful things.
A suggestion from Sapphirefly tonight--to write a blog here, without details of personal life weighing thoughts down--started as an "I'll think about it" commitment. But when I read her new blog, I realized that this would be a good way to archive my progress through my new project. And it'll most likely develop into something more.
A blog for myself--no guilty posts about not updating, no recent activities to share with friends I haven't seen in years, no mention of upsetting little details of life--maybe it will work.