I think the argument for Hitomi to leave was that she didn't have to stay with Van to continue being in love. Their love would transcend time and space, and wouldn't depend on close approximation or even continued affirmation. This would only hold true, in my opinion, if there are circumstances they couldn't control that keeps them apart, such as their different fates on different planets, or maybe political marriages, etc. But this kind of love, to wish each other happiness while they give up any effort, is very sad, and not at all fun to read about. It's like the original story of Little Mermaid—the mermaid gave up her life for love, but the prince doesn't even know about it.
It prompted me to think more about what my story should answer:
"This love they have for each other...this emotion for theirs...does it surpass even that fate of war borne by man? But can this single moment last forever? This moment created by two easily swayed human hearts?" (ep 26.)
In my story, the political tensions, ambition, goals for dominance, and struggles for power eventually build momentum into war. Instead of love overcoming fate, it ends by acceptance, by generosity, by empathy. The ending is more diplomatic, more modern, more vague. Instead of defeating war with love, instead of being an example of peace, I want Hitomi and Van to accept war, to accept it as life, to create connections with others.
Except, I can't really think of anything except to bring out bigger guns. At least, that seems to work for the US... Maybe, I should take the Ghandi approach? No fasting, though. I love food too much to even subject my characters the pain.
Let's sidetrack into some random thoughts and take a break from serious conversation.
- Why did Hitomi always wear her uniform? Okay, so Van's coronation was a formal occasion. But afterwards, when she had the choice between the skirt and her track pants, I would have picked the pants. Besides, track jacket + running shorts would have been a cuter combination. It's like the boyfriend shirt + boxer shorts thing. Oh ho ho ho! I have a great idea.
- I should make a list of what Hitomi carried in her purse, much like the listing of items in her gym bag. A small purse, and definately lipstick.
- the usual: wallet, keys, pen, cell phone, receipt from the cakeshop
- sunglasses, earrings returned by Yukari, cherry lipstick
- things she unfortunately cannot carry: CDs (they fly to Gaea by themselves)
Writing comments from Chocolatelova:
1. rewrite sections from scratch
2. strange scenes --> kick to another section, look from another perspective (different character?), needs different elements
3. don't make it too complicated
2 comments:
Track jacket + shorts would have been much cuter, I agree. I didn't think Hitomi was attractive at all for most of the series, except for a few shots in the beginning and some occasional scenes later on. Which is why I made her much prettier in my fic.
I like the list of things in her purse. I saw the list on the Compendium for what she carried in her gym bag, and it sure was a lot!
I think she would be much prettier after 20, when she fills out a little and loses the teenage awkwardness.
There needs to be a mystery item in her purse! I will think harder!
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