I wonder if Gaea's horses look funny because they're supposed to be wild horses? It'd certainly make for an interesting fact as Hitomi carry on with Melidoul's care.
Finished with ch5, letting it sit for now. There's actually lots of dialogue--relatively.
From a long talk with Sapphirefly yesterday, we identified some key things DS is missing: faster pacing, shorter sentences, more satisfying romance, dialogue, action, deeper sense of mystery.
Although it is still early to say "definitely this is it!", it seems ch3 confused and turned off some people, because reads for ch4 are only half of previous chs' views. I think the main problem was how long it took me to set up the romance situation exactly right, and the first few chapters were very indulgent on character self-reflections, which shouldn't belong in the typical rapid pace of the beginning. Starting from ch5, we start into the real plot, and that should help the feeling of pacing.
Ah well, we'll see. DS is really an experiment and an experience for me. It's too hard to expect the principles of craft and talent at this stage. I can only say, yes, I'll try that.
Yesterday I used some bad adjectives and multiple negatives in ch5 for effect. It's always a risk, though, to take such a course. I wonder if the trade-off is worth it, or if it wouldn't be noticeable to readers beyond the feeling of storytelling degeneration. But anyway, here's one I quite enjoyed:
Belian snorted. "Goau turned out just fine. And a man who never remarried is hardly less guilty than me."
4 comments:
Letting your writing sit for a little bit is always a wise choice. Many times I return to my written work and see things I hadn't seen before which need more tweaking. Other times I am satisfied.
Ffnet is great for practicing and improving writing techniques but don't let the lack ( or decline) of readers and reviews discourage you.
There are so many reasons why people stop reading. I too had the same experience with my most recent Escaflowne fic. But on my last written chapter had more readers than the previous.
Readers and reviews depend on who is doing the reading and even what time of year it is.
Holidays normally do well for both. And also keep in mind that school has just begun for many of our younger readers.
Thanks for the words ;3 Yeah, school started and fall generally has a faster pace.
I agree. September is a bad month. December is also a bad month because it's right before Christmas, but it's still amazing how many people review anyway even though they've got a lot of stuff to do. It's also pretty painful to notice how many people read without reviewing.
But just because it's a bad time of year doesn't mean that you shouldn't update. At least that's what I think. It's bad to let down your loyal readers for something like that.
Nah, I wouldn't do something like that :P I've been holding it because I'm not entirely satisfied with the chapter, and I feel there has to be a more compelling reason why Van leaves Fanelia, since it's most likely that he hadn't left since the war.
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