I added some more to Leal's section in ch5, since I wanted to show how important this meeting is, and set up some things for later. Sadly, I don't know how to fit in the answers to Jossi's question about how Fanelia perceives Hitomi. Upon further thought, I don't think it would be right for Leal to give the explanations, since he only just met Hitomi, and everything he sees between Van and Hitomi would only be observations and guesses.
It's been pretty fun to try to create different character voices, although I still have a long way to go to make them distinctive. I've been refining the voice for Leal. I think my previous post about "she was like a sunflower in the midst of a lavender field" is a strange remark for a military man in such a country as Fanelia, so now it's "a sunflower in the midst of a field of wheat". Now it's more possible. Maybe :P To totally immerse into sentence construction, word choice, different focus, and narrative style for character image has proved very difficult. I think that's why I love Flowers for Algernon so much.
As for Cim, I decided to make him stay true to humble arrogance, a shadow of Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice. I need to think up more misused adjectives for him.
3 comments:
It's a great book and very short, but it begins to be sad after he gains enough intelligence to understand loneliness and frustration, and is sad all the way to the end ; ;
I think the question about how Fanelia perceives Hitomi needs to be addressed gradually. Hitomi is an enigma to most folks on Gaea and I think her friends in that world were only begining to understand her when she returned to Earth the second time.
Fanelia's perception of Hitomi could be developed over several chapters or the rest of the story plot. At the very least it could add a deeper dimension.
Oh, this is a good issue you raised, Sincerity. Very true. I will think hard on it, thanks!
I think at this point, mainly I want to define how Van, her friends, and Van's staff see her, and follow their opinions as the story progresses. I haven't planned for interactions with common people, really.
But it is an interesting thought...
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