I'm done with first part of ch5, but stuck on the rest because I'm wavering between V's or H's point of view for the second scene. I'll most likely choose Hitomi. After events in ch4, it'd be more interesting to see how she responds to Van and everyone else. V's POV seems to come more naturally when he's alone. I'm not sure if that's because of his character's tendency to hide thoughts until it needs to be said, or if it's much harder for me to understand his mind when he's interacting with others?
This time I dragged another online friend into reviewing ch4 for me ;3 Thanks, Chocolatelova and Pennylain!
I'm trying to finish final edits on the ch so I can post soon, but I have to make two decisions:
1. The ceremony for Day of Planting is during sunset, because I wanted to set its festival and the ch ending at night. But since the festival is constructed from rice farming schedule, it seems strange in hindsight to build it around sunset, instead of sunrise or midday. In VOE, both Van's coronation and Millerna's wedding were during the day, perhaps early afternoon?
2. Van tells a story about the beginning of Fanelia, and the mood becomes close to a history lesson that I make Merle interrupt with a little joke. Chocolatelova points out that Merle is sassy but probably wouldn't make such a statement on a reverent subject. Maybe it's the storytelling style I gave Van that seems so rigid.
Yesterday's sentence:
The men sang softly now, their timbre like whispers of wind and spoke of echoes in the earth.
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