Thursday, November 30, 2006

The Sound of Falling Snow 2

My class thought The Sound of Falling Snow would be better if the present scene was written in present tense, so the differentiation between memories and actual events would be clearer. They also wanted a clearer setting in the scenes for added details (why was oranges hard to get? does Emma still live in Philly?). Oh, one interesting thing--the ending would be better without the lat paragraph, and that was actually my original intent. I suppose my reason for adding it was superfluous. Otherwise, the main comments were the same as Sincerity's--tone, imagery, and sentences were ok. I'm excited that my professor thought I should continue writing. That's the question I've wanted to ask but have been too afraid to ask :P

Ok, totally psyched to work on DS now! p(^w^)q Here's a Van "yosh, yosh" picture:

2 comments:

Sincerity said...

Hey, your teacher just said what those of us who have read and liked your writing already know. You have a natural ability for expression of thoughts and detail with words.
And yeah, its true that there are things you can still improve but... don't we all? I know I do, especially in writing.

jomiel said...

Thanks dude :D